Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Roxie Lavalamp, and I was born in 2548 at Bradbury Mars Colony. Since Its Electronic Highness - Robot Overlord XJ-5000 v2.1 - took over and established the Space Empire, I've been assigned to work on the Electro-Atomitron time travelometer to ensure only loyal citizens travel back to visit our ancient past so as to avoid any humans trying to change the future and keep XJ-5000 v2.1 from assuming the cosmo-throne.
If you're reading this right now, there's a good chance that you're one of the rebels I secretly sent back. If not, we swear our utmost loyalty to Its Electronic Highness, and welcome, time tourist.
Unfortunately you are trapped in the past, and for that I apologize. Our finest technicians and robot under-overlords are working on the problem with the Electro-Atomitron as we speak. We do apologize.
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